💙 Failure Builds Confidence

How I retrained myself to be a huge success.

This is the final in a three-part series about my bankruptcy, to learn how it all happened, read failure and not a fit. To gain insights on what it took for me to rebuild and move past it read courage precedes confidence emotional challenges .

balance is bullshit

After I graduated from University, I made my dream a reality by becoming an entrepreneur and opening up an anti-aging spa. We did everything we knew how to do, and after a few setbacks business was booming.

But just 3 years later — the spa was hemorrhaging money. I realized the only way to get my life back was to file for bankruptcy.

To say I was crushed when I lost my business is an understatement. I felt the devastating emotional and psychological effects of my decision for years afterward.

I slowly learned that bankruptcy could give me a clean slate so I could reinvent myself.

I committed to learning everything I could about business so I would never experience that kind of failure again.

  • I hired business coaches who had the REAL LIFE experiences I was looking for, and partnered with people who worked hard to get their own results that I wanted.

  • I turned up the volume on my education: I attended seminars, took continuing education courses, and eventually became a successful certified executive coach and facilitator.

  • I started to learn how to create passive income.

  • I budgeted carefully, and learned how to operate from a cash position.

While my friends were out buying designer clothes, I was paying for my education. I stuck to a firm monthly payment plan for coaching and training, which was based out of Boulder, Colorado.

I got my finances in clear order.

I went bankrupt because we went too big too soon with the spa. We did not have enough cash flow saved in the bank for operating expenses; we did not have cash saved to carry us through the slow times, and the spa failed because the sales were 95% dependent on my partner and I — which forced us to work all the time….making us tired...and tired is not ideal for selling. Once bankrupt we had a tight budget, which I managed. We didn’t spend on credit cards because they were taken in the bankruptcy — we learned how to live off of real money. For budgeting I used an Excel spreadsheet to track EVERYTHING. I saw our monthly income and fixed expenses so I knew how much money we had to play with every single month. Each day I would go into my account and update my spreadsheet so that I could see a live running total of what money we had to spend. It was time to get completely, 100% laser-focused on our finances.

I got my finances in clear order.

I went bankrupt because we went too big too soon with the spa. We did not have enough cash flow saved in the bank for operating expenses; we did not have cash saved to carry us through the slow times, and the spa failed because the sales were 95% dependent on my partner and I — which forced us to work all the time….making us tired...and tired is not ideal for selling. Once bankrupt we had a tight budget, which I managed. We didn’t spend on credit cards because they were taken in the bankruptcy — we learned how to live off of real money. For budgeting I used an Excel spreadsheet to track EVERYTHING. I saw our monthly income and fixed expenses so I knew how much money we had to play with every single month. Each day I would go into my account and update my spreadsheet so that I could see a live running total of what money we had to spend. It was time to get completely, 100% laser-focused on our finances.

I constantly visualized where I wanted to go — so my vision would become a reality.

I knew after my bankruptcy that I wanted to speak, facilitate, and coach. When I commit to getting a result, the first thing I do is visualize the gap between where I am now and where I want to be. I often felt there was a huge gap between where I was at that moment and where I saw myself going...but taking baby steps helped me get my confidence back so I could achieve my goals.

I constantly strived (and still do) to not any negative self-talk seriously.

When I went bankrupt, I had to ignore or make fun of those voices in my head that told me I was a “failure”. I had to keep reminding myself that if someone else can’t talk to me that way, I shouldn’t talk to myself like that, either. To retrain my brain, a trick I used to use was: every time I would say something negative to myself I would then affirm 3 positive things. Being in the coaching/self development programs helped train me to recognize and cut out the negative self-talk.

I asked for help.

At the beginning I was afraid to discuss my bankruptcy with anyone except my loved ones. Giving myself permission to go out there and make mistakes allowed me to open up, get help, and rebuild my life. My bankruptcy was a function of 2 things: 1) I went too big; and 2) I didn’t ask for outside help. Now I always ask for help — I want to know other people's opinions. Once I opened up, I actually received a lot of compassion. To be successful you need to be able to build a team, and to do that you need to be able to admit you cannot do it on your own. I learned that lesson the hard way — now I know how to delegate more, I am not as much of a perfectionist, and I encourage people to do the work their way (not my way). I am okay with mistakes and I stay focused on the big picture. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that we cannot do it alone.

I pushed myself to get out into the world and meet people.

I often felt I wanted to curl into a ball and avoid everyone. But I realized the only way to truly recover is to face my challenges head-on. Talk to a friend. Take a class. Learn from my mistakes. And no matter what, I didn’t give up.

I choose to see the silver lining in every decision.

Bankruptcy gave me the opportunity to change directions and completely start over. Journaling about my experiences and working with a coach/spiritual guide allowed me to see a bigger perspective. I choose to see the silver lining — and hold it closer than the negativity that surrounds it.

One of the biggest lessons that bankruptcy taught me is that you can get what you want, but it doesn’t always happen the way you want it to.

I wanted to be a great business person, but didn’t know I’d have to go bankrupt to get there.

I will always remember…

Success is the gift you get from implementing your learning from failing.

It is because I failed that I have confidence today.
— Sophie B.
 
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Curious? Take a peek & discover a new you.

Take a peek inside and discover lots of free training tailored just for you. In Chapter Three of this series, we learned that sometimes the best you can do, can be the hardest.

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